Copyright © 2020 Nameya Jacobs

HOW TO: TAKE AN L

2017 has been a difficult year; I started my first year of college, ended a two-year relationship and was faced with some hard truths that either made me or broke me. We didn't die in 2012 but my optimism did, so I had to change my perspective on life before it was too late.

 

Taking L's on a regular means I've learned how to see them as lessons and not losses, and I've come out the other side a better person because of it. Don't get me wrong, this took a long time (a whole year, to be exact) to perfect, but with a little patience, you too can make the leap from grasshopper to master.

 

Here's my guide on how to *successfully* take an L.

 

#1: FIND AN OUTLET

Picture this: you meet a cute guy on a drunken night out, and just as you think you're hitting it off, you realise he just wants to be friends (I wish I wasn't speaking from personal experience). Normally I'd say "take your L and go", but we all know that's not going to happen, especially if you're a water sign. Instead, find a way to release your anger/sadness/frustration the best way you know how. For me this means going for a jog, but I know exercise isn't everyones cup of tea, so just find what works for you and do it.

 

Going for a jog means I get to run the hatred out of my system while simultaneously doing something beneficial for my body. The aim is to let out the built up anger, unless you take rejection easily, in which case, why are you here?

 

#2: PAMPER YOURSELF

A pamper routine looks different for everyone, but you should come out of it feeling better about yourself from the inside, out. I personally make sure to take care of my hair, skin and self-esteem because self-love is not only important but necessary.

 

It is crucial that you don't go looking for validation from anyone but yourself, as this can reverse the entire process.

 

#3: REVISIT THE SITUATION

Now that you're no longer angry and you've gassed yourself up, revisit the situation. I'm not saying you should go back to said boy and ask him why he doesn't like you (again, speaking from personal experience).

I'm saying, evaluate how and why you feel defeated.

 

For me, getting curved by men is hard because I'm new to the dating scene so I've forgotten how to handle rejection.

That being said, I don't find everyone attractive and the same applies to you and the next person. If I'm allowed to be particular about who I like and don't like, so can the next person. (I wasn't lying about those hard truths.)

 

To make this statement more broad, you have to judge whether or not what you took was in fact an L. We're quick to allow ourselves to accept defeat and give up, but consider it the universes way of testing your resilience. You were made from the toughest elements, it's just trying to remind you of that.

 

#4: JAM

I'm not f*cking with you. I don't care if you "can't dance", that's not what I'm telling you to do. I'm telling you to dance, period.

 

I lock my door, put on an outfit that makes me look and feel good, put in my headphones and jam (I'd recommend any song from the holy trinity).

 

#5: MOVE ON

By this time, I've hyped myself up to the point where I can't even remember why I was upset in the first place. It's all fine and well to take an L, but you have to learn to move on from it.

 

You are going to be faced with challenges in life that you don't necessarily want to face, but it is up to you to take them as losses or lessons. I've realised that all the experiences I've had in my lifetime, but particularly this year, were a test as to whether or not I could handle certain situations, and in turn, I was able to overcome every obstacle.

 

You've got this kid. It's tough out there, but it's not impossible.

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